It’s messy. It’s humbling. It’s hard.
I have had several conversations this week with different people in different walks of life and life struggles. Each one is in a place of weakness, and as I share my own weaknesses with them I know I am not alone. The rhetoric of verses come to my mind when I think of weakness. When we are weak He is strong, He is close to the broken hearted and saves those crushed in spirit, God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble...I don’t want to know those verses and say them as a quick bandaid to myself or others, I want to understand the depth of what these mean...as my weaknesses are every before me how do I continue?
As I was in the prayer room this week, leading from the piano and one singer with me-just us before the Lord. We started singing about being close to Jesus. In my mind I kept seeing Mary, who was in a place of weakness at the feet of Jesus breaking open a jar of perfume at His feet. What brought her to the place of humility and love giving of herself in such an extravagant way? She was a prostitute. Lowest of lows to the people around her, she was publicly humiliated-stigmas were all she knew. Yet instead of anger, bitterness, hatred, or pretending she didn’t care, she poured love out.
I have a choice. I have a choice just like she did.
I have a choice when my weaknesses are in my face. I can get anger, bitter, hate those around me, pretend like everything is good and perfect, or I can throw myself at His feet. When I have seemly no issues, no weaknesses, when others look at my life and I have it all together it is harder to throw myself at His feet. Secret sin, covering flaws and faults, and pretending you are perfect all produce nothing good on the inside. It produces death-and no relationship with Him!
My prayer today for myself is to keep moving forward and when my weaknesses are abounding I will press towards the feet of the One who loves me. I will not let anger, bitterness, hatred, or denial run my life. I am grateful for the weaknesses, they allow me to be near the One I love and loves me.
My other prayer is for the ones who are in the midst of weaknesses, that you would find yourself at His feet-what a good place a safe place to find peace and rest with Him.
Director of Jump In House of Prayer Canby, OR
Co-founder of Precursor International
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